5 Practical Ways to Challenge Negative Thoughts
5 Practical Ways to Challenge Negative Thoughts
Having negative thoughts is a normal experience, but sometimes, we get stuck in a pattern of negative thinking that eventually get the best of us. Our entire perspective on life changes. Suddenly, the world is a less joyful place, the future seems grim, and we feel as though we have nothing left to offer ourselves or anyone else. Over time, negative thinking takes a tole on your mental well being. If you find that you’re in this space, I want you to know that you can get better. It takes a lot of work, and I’m certainly not one to say there is a “magic solution” or “quick fix,” but understanding where your negative thoughts come from can be helpful so that you can start to take practical measures towards making necessary changes needed to shift negative thinking patterns.
Where do Negative Thoughts Come From?
Negative thoughts tend to stem from core beliefs that we hold about ourselves. Core beliefs are the way in which we ultimately see ourselves. They are the foundation or building blocks that make up the way we interact with our environment and those around us. It takes effort to bring them to our immediate awareness, but exploring our past and significant life events, beginning with childhood, can help you understand where your core beliefs come from.
Core beliefs sometimes entail a negative view about the self. For example, you may have a core belief that you’re not good enough. You may have thoughts such as “I am a bad mother” or “I can’t even soothe my child, I’m useless” and over time, we start to integrate these thoughts as being a part of the self because it feeds that core belief.
Of course I’m a bad mother (because I’m not good enough to be a good one). Of course my child acts out (because I’m not good enough to parent them). Even outside the realm of motherhood – of course I didn’t get that promotion (because I’m not good enough) or on the complete opposite end, I can’t believe I got that promotion ( because I’m not good enough).
Can you see how a core belief can impact your thinking? So what can we do about some of these negative thought patterns?
I’ve outlined some practical methods below for adjusting negative thought patterns, but please note that these changes don’t simply happen over night. Keep in mind that we are breaking away thoughts that are influenced by core beliefs and it takes a lot of brain power to change the way we think.
1. Look at the evidence
You’ll want to look at the evidence for and against your thoughts. Consider questions such as – When I am not feeling stressed or down, do I think about this type of situation any differently? How? Am I jumping to any conclusions? Am I thinking in black and white terms? Is there a middle ground that I can consider? Are there any positive things about me or the situation that I am ignoring at the moment?
2. Evaluate the thought
Look at the helpfulness of your thought. Ask yourself, how is this thought helping me? Will thoughts like this help me achieve my goals? Why does this thought come up whenever I do/feel/act ___________? How can I be kinder to myself?
3. Think of alternative perspectives
Ask yourself, if my best friend was having this thought, what would I tell her? How would I respond to her? Five years from now, if I look back on this situation, would I think differently? How so?
4. Utilize breathing exercises
I am a huge fan of breath work because they allow us to put a space between our physiological and emotional responses to particular situations. Some of my favorite techniques include 4-4-4 breathing or deep belly breathing.
5. Practice gratitude
The intentional act of practicing gratitude can help to shift negative thoughts. This entails choosing to focus on the things in your life that you are grateful for and finding ways to serve others.
And finally, remember that you are more than your thoughts. My Visible Motherhood workbook covers this at length, providing you with handouts and practical hand’s on strategies for shifting your thinking.
All the best,