Manage Anger Through Grounding
Manage Anger Through Grounding
Anger in motherhood is a common phenomenon that many experience but don’t feel comfortable talking about. Outside the work of individual therapy that may explore some deep rooted feelings and core beliefs that hide beneath anger, there exist strategies that may be helpful to use in the moment and gradually, over time, in order to change your “anger” script.
What is Grounding?
I’d like to focus on grounding, a concept that may help you manage your reactions to situations that invoke anger. Grounding is a practice that facilitates a meaningful connection to your environment or Earth itself, spiritually and physically. Some ways to practice grounding include driving with the windows down, dancing in the rain, smelling flowers, eating a meal on the floor, praying on your knees, spending time outdoors, walking barefoot, gardening, putting your feet in the grass or digging your toes in the sand. Basically, anything that gets you as close to the ground as is possible in a given moment, connects you spiritually, or allows you to be present in the moment.
Simple Grounding Exercise
A simple, in the moment form of grounding that can be used is to pick up an object around you – it can be anything; a note pad, a coffee cup, a pen, a candle, literally anything – and focus on that object.
What does the object look like?
How does it feel in your hands? Is it heavy? Is it light? What’s the texture (smooth, soft, plush, rough, prickly, etc.).
What does it remind you of?
Why does it remind you of x, y, z?
Picking up an object around you (perhaps even the one you feel like throwing across the room) and focusing on it by asking yourself the aforementioned questions immediately pulls you out of the mental space that you may be in and connects you to your physical space. It may provide you with the space to center your thoughts and take action from a balanced approach as opposed to the heat of the moment.
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
Another grounding technique that may be used in the moment is the 5 senses grounding technique or 5-4-3-2-1 technique. It is focused on the five senses; taste, touch, see, hear, smell. The technique is rather simple.
First acknowledge 5 things you can see – this could be anything around you. For example, your phone, a pen, the palm tree outside of your office window, cars in the street, a fly on the wall.
Then 4 things you can touch – this could be your hair, the glasses on your face, the cushion from the chair you are sitting in.
3 things you can hear – perhaps the ticking of a clock, tapping of someone’s foot, traffic rushing by, dogs barking.
2 things you can smell – maybe you’re in the bathroom and you can smell soap (or something else that is not so pleasant), coffee, pizza, cardboard.
1 thing you can taste – perhaps you have your morning coffee lingering on your breath, or you can taste the piece of gum you’re chewing on.
The techniques I shared above are simple and effective. Grounding can help you access your parasympathetic nervous system, which is your break pedal.
Benefits of Grounding
Some benefits of grounding include “improved sleep, decreased pain, a normalizing effect on cortisol, reduced stress, diminished damage to muscles from moderate or intense exercise, reduction of primary indicators of osteoporosis, and improved glucose regulation, immune response, and blood fluidity” (2). Furthermore, “grounding appears to be one of the simplest and yet most profound interventions for helping reduce cardiovascular risk and cardiovascular events” (1).
When you engage in grounding activities or utilize grounding techniques, you may start to feel centered, balanced, less tense/more at ease, and experience reduced stress, improved mood (in this case, less anger), improved sleep, and clearer thoughts.
The next time you feel the urge to throw your phone at the wall or on the ground (I don’t say this sarcastically), consider focusing on it instead. It won’t be easy and it takes a lot of will power, but I know you can do this.
Until next time,
References
Chevalier, G., Sinatra, S. T., Oschman, J. L., & Delany, R. M. (2013). Earthing (grounding) the human body reduces blood viscosity-a major factor in cardiovascular disease. Journal of alternative and complementary medicine (New York, N.Y.), 19(2), 102–110. doi:10.1089/acm.2011.0820
Chevalier, G. (2015). The effect of grounding the human body on mood. Psychol Rep., 116(2), 534-42. doi:10.2466/06.PR0.116k21w5